WHY DOES THIS ASSHOLE STILL HAVE A CAREER?!?!
Hi,
Most of you probably know who I am but in case you don't, let me tell you. My name is R. Kelly and I am an R&B b-list celebrity. I used to be a superstar when I was singing pop-gospel shit like, "I believe I can fly, " for kids films. That was a great job and I really enjoyed contributing to the soundtreack of the very well received Space Jam. Previously, I had hits with songs like: "Feelin on yo booty" "Don't You Say No" "Bump n Grind."
However, somewhere right after the whole Space Jam thing, I got into a bit of a Jam of my own. You see, I am what's know as the lowest form of life on the planet. I am not a man, I am a fucking animal. I have urges and choose not to control them. What I'm trying to get at is...well...I LIKE TO FUCK CHILDREN. Furthermore, not only do I enjoy fucking them but I take great pleasure in sodomizing and urinating on them, especially when I can capture all of this to show the homies. The homies really enjoy this shit as it just makes me seem much more of the ALPHA male than anyone else.
The trouble came when a bit of the, "home movie" I made depicting all of my favorite extra-curriculur activities got leaked onto the internet and people could see me for the true piece of shit I am. While I was indicted on 21 counts of child pornography, I had a stellar legal defense, I just said, "It's not me." Apparently this was enough to keep me out of the Pokey, where justice would have been served and I would have been fucked in the ass and pissed on until I was dead. Also, my recording career is still on fire cause all of the younger rappers want me on their jams cause, I'm a kiddie fucker that got caught and nothing happened to me, so I lend some street cred.
Well, it's almost time for school to let out and I just happened to have swallowed 4 or 5 Viagra, so I need to be on my way. I hope you all have a blessed day and just remember, "Age ain't nothin but a number."
PEACE!
Hi,
Most of you probably know who I am but in case you don't, let me tell you. My name is R. Kelly and I am an R&B b-list celebrity. I used to be a superstar when I was singing pop-gospel shit like, "I believe I can fly, " for kids films. That was a great job and I really enjoyed contributing to the soundtreack of the very well received Space Jam. Previously, I had hits with songs like: "Feelin on yo booty" "Don't You Say No" "Bump n Grind."
However, somewhere right after the whole Space Jam thing, I got into a bit of a Jam of my own. You see, I am what's know as the lowest form of life on the planet. I am not a man, I am a fucking animal. I have urges and choose not to control them. What I'm trying to get at is...well...I LIKE TO FUCK CHILDREN. Furthermore, not only do I enjoy fucking them but I take great pleasure in sodomizing and urinating on them, especially when I can capture all of this to show the homies. The homies really enjoy this shit as it just makes me seem much more of the ALPHA male than anyone else.
The trouble came when a bit of the, "home movie" I made depicting all of my favorite extra-curriculur activities got leaked onto the internet and people could see me for the true piece of shit I am. While I was indicted on 21 counts of child pornography, I had a stellar legal defense, I just said, "It's not me." Apparently this was enough to keep me out of the Pokey, where justice would have been served and I would have been fucked in the ass and pissed on until I was dead. Also, my recording career is still on fire cause all of the younger rappers want me on their jams cause, I'm a kiddie fucker that got caught and nothing happened to me, so I lend some street cred.
Well, it's almost time for school to let out and I just happened to have swallowed 4 or 5 Viagra, so I need to be on my way. I hope you all have a blessed day and just remember, "Age ain't nothin but a number."
PEACE!
posted by JackassJimmy at 2:22 PM
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