How Much Man-Candy Can One Man Stand?

Last night I stayed in and did some marathon movie watching as the red envelopes from Netflix were starting to pile up. I know the following two titles have been out for forever but I have just not gotten around to putting my ass in a chair long enough to watch. So, without further adieux, here are my reviews of Troy and Pearl Harbor.

I don't know who financed Troy but they had $3 more than God. When you look at the credits and see who was in the film, you know there was some serious cash thrown around. What surprised me about Troy was despite the talent of the cast, the interesting premise for the story this movie still went down in the flames of mediocrity like greek fire on a funeral pyre. I will say that Brad Pitt managed to get himself in phenomenal shape for this film, however I was not all about seeing greasy, man-ass no matter what shape it was in.

Orlando Bloom was a bitch, plain and simple. Not even his heroics could redeem him in my eyes. I would go into further detail but for the 2 people left on the planet who havent seen it, I don't want to ruin it. Eric Banas did an excellent job in the film and I was happy to see he is still able to get work after, The Hulk. It's not many actors that can make a comeback after punching dogs in the balls. Peter O'Toole, Brian Cox the names go on and on and I was just mildly disappointed with the film.

I give Troy a thumb raised half way.

For the past couple of years I have heard people say that Ben Affleck can't act and there was a large part of me that felt they were just hating on a local boy making good. After sitting through the fucking epic, Pearl Harbor, I am now a believer.

The film it self was good. I think there was just to much going on for the writers and directors to pay attention to without having this turn into a 6 hour film. Besides Affleck's lackluster performance there is the matter of horrible accents, no continuity and the fact there was no other character development for Cuba Gooding Jr. once he finally got to touch a weapon. This movie was a prime example on too many chiefs and not enough indians. However, I will say there was some spectacular camera work and cinematography in Pearl Harbor. When Japan was invading Pearl Harbor the landscape shots were breath taking.

The plot had more cheese in it than the state od Wisconsin. It didn't kill the film but you definetly noticed it. I can recommend Pearl Harbor, it was enjoyable to watch even it it was was about an hour too long. I give it one thumb on the half raise.

At ease private.